Shakespeare

home *** CD-ROM | disk | FTP | other *** search

/ Shakespeare / Shakespeare (1991)(Creative Multimedia).iso / dp / 0285 / 02851.txt < prev next >

Wrap

Text File | 1989-11-03 | 20KB | 472 lines

$Unique_ID{SSP02851} $Title{The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act I, Scene I} $Author{Shakespeare, William} $Subject{} $Log{Dramatis Personae*02850.txt} Portions copyright (c) CMC ReSearch, Inc., 1989 The Complete Works of William Shakespeare THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR ACT I ................................................................................ SCENE I: Windsor. Before PAGE's house. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . {Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.} SHALLOW: Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star- chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. SLENDER: In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and 'Coram.' SHALLOW: Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum. SLENDER: Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.' 10 SHALLOW: Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. SLENDER: All his successors gone before him hath done't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. SHALLOW: It is an old coat. SIR HUGH EVANS: The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. SHALLOW: The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old 20 coat. SLENDER: I may quarter, coz. SHALLOW: You may, by marrying. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. SHALLOW: Not a whit. SIR HUGH EVANS: Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my 30 benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you. SHALLOW: The council shall bear it; it is a riot. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. SHALLOW: Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: 40 and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity. SLENDER: Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections! 50 --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. SLENDER: Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? SIR HUGH EVANS: Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. SLENDER: I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. SIR HUGH EVANS: Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts. SHALLOW: Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? 60 SIR HUGH EVANS: Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here! PAGE: [Within] Who's there? {Enter PAGE.} SIR HUGH EVANS: Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if 70 matters grow to your likings. PAGE: I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. SHALLOW: Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart. PAGE: Sir, I thank you. SHALLOW: Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. PAGE: I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. 80 SLENDER: How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall. PAGE: It could not be judged, sir. SLENDER: You'll not confess, you'll not confess. SHALLOW: That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault; 'tis a good dog. PAGE: A cur, sir. SHALLOW: Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here? 90 PAGE: Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. SHALLOW: He hath wronged me, Master Page. PAGE: Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. SHALLOW: If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. PAGE: Here comes Sir John. 100 {Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.} FALSTAFF: Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? SHALLOW: Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. FALSTAFF: But not kissed your keeper's daughter? SHALLOW: Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. FALSTAFF: I will answer it straight; I have done all this. That is now answered. SHALLOW: The council shall know this. FALSTAFF: 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: 110 you'll be laughed at. SIR HUGH EVANS: Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. FALSTAFF: Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me? SLENDER: Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. BARDOLPH: You Banbury cheese! SLENDER: Ay, it is no matter. PISTOL: How now, Mephostophilus! 120 SLENDER: Ay, it is no matter. NYM: Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour. SLENDER: Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin? SIR HUGH EVANS: Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. PAGE: We three, to hear it and end it between them. SIR HUGH EVANS: Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note- 130 book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can. FALSTAFF: Pistol! PISTOL: He hears with ears. SIR HUGH EVANS: The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears with ear'? why, it is affectations. FALSTAFF: Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? SLENDER: Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward 140 shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. FALSTAFF: Is this true, Pistol? SIR HUGH EVANS: No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. PISTOL: Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. Word of denial in thy labras here! Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest! SLENDER: By these gloves, then, 'twas he. NYM: Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say 150 'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it. SLENDER: By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. FALSTAFF: What say you, Scarlet and John? BARDOLPH: Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. SIR HUGH EVANS: It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! BARDOLPH: And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and 160 so conclusions passed the careires. SLENDER: Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. SIR HUGH EVANS: So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. FALSTAFF: You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. {Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following.} PAGE: Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink 170 within. [Exit ANNE PAGE.] SLENDER: O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. PAGE: How now, Mistress Ford! FALSTAFF: Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. [Kisses her.] PAGE: Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.] SLENDER: I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here. 180 [Enter SIMPLE.] How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you? SIMPLE: Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas? SHALLOW: Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me? 190 SLENDER: Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. SHALLOW: Nay, but understand me. SLENDER: So I do, sir. SIR HUGH EVANS: Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. SLENDER: Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. 200 SIR HUGH EVANS: But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage. SHALLOW: Ay, there's the point, sir. SIR HUGH EVANS: Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. SLENDER: Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands. SIR HUGH EVANS: But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the 210 mouth. Therefore. precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? SHALLOW: Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? SLENDER: I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason. SIR HUGH EVANS: Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. SHALLOW: That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? SLENDER: I will do a greater thing than that, upon your 220 request, cousin, in any reason. SHALLOW: Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? SLENDER: I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. 230 SIR HUGH EVANS: It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good. SHALLOW: Ay, I think my cousin meant well. SLENDER: Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! SHALLOW: Here comes fair Mistress Anne. {Re-enter ANNE PAGE.} Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne! ANNE PAGE: The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. SHALLOW: I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. 240 SIR HUGH EVANS: Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS.] ANNE PAGE: Will't please your worship to come in, sir? SLENDER: No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. ANNE PAGE: The dinner attends you, sir. SLENDER: I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy 250 yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I live like a poor gentleman born. ANNE PAGE: I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. SLENDER: I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. ANNE PAGE: I pray you, sir, walk in. SLENDER: I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a 260 dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? ANNE PAGE: I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. SLENDER: I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? ANNE PAGE: Ay, indeed, sir. SLENDER: That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by 270 the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored rough things. {Re-enter PAGE.} PAGE: Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you. SLENDER: I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. PAGE: By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come. SLENDER: Nay, pray you, lead the way. PAGE: Come on, sir. 280 SLENDER: Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. ANNE PAGE: Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. SLENDER: I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la! [Exeunt.]